You don’t get “sports”. Who can blame you. School sports were terrifying and full of equally terrifying teachers and students. Post-school sports, for you, are dead times, moments murdered by inanity, reminders that hell is other people who insist on talking about sport. Follow this quick guide to discover how you can be in charge of the conversation with hardly any work and no real knowledge.
I once had a conversation in a pub in Darwin, in the Northern Territory of Australia, during which I was threatened with a beating and told that the indigenous people were happier and better off before they had the vote and were paid in money.