Make Her Stop! Cyborg Mum


They took Mum off to the Cyborg factory yesterday and I wasn’t even at home to see him go away. I won’t be there when she gets back, fixed, tomorrow.

Mum is now just about six feet tall and smiles with her new hair flopping into his eyes like a 25 year old. She’s 460 years old and he won’t stop letting you know that. She founded the Cyborg factory in her 40s when she was less than six feet and balding and a man. She sold it as a success in her 70s, already slightly taller and with a lot more hair.

The last petrol car had come off the line in Korea and was sold to a museum in China. It was a Ford Shark, aimed at the Pink market.She had never felt better. The Cyborg factory was franchised all over the Free World by that time; mum got her contractual cut. She likes things that are scaleable.

I am 15 years old, it’s terrible. She goes on and on and on about things that I don’t know or care about. She tells me that “What goes around, comes around” or some bullshit like that. I’ve had five stepdads… in 15 years. Can you imagine that? You would have thought that such a long life would make you relaxed but oh no but No way! Mum gets bored really easily and she doesn’t like to see ageing.

Poor folk can’t afford the Cyborg factory as you know. Poor folk get old quickly but poor folk interest Mum so she marries them and ruins them and then moves on bored. I’m amazed she’s not bored with me yet. But she doesn’t see me often what with me being at school. She got bored with my brother and he went to the Cyborg Factory. So did all my sisters.

She bores me to death. I don’t want to go to the Cyborg Factory even if it is a family tradition. I want to get old, it’s cool. When she gets home, I will have made her a special tea. I loved her once.

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