When it’s out, as a flash game… for web browsers… one day… maybe.
Not now, of course, but one day. Probably in about 100 years time or something.
Also… look at this:
Archive for the ‘Thought for Today’ Category
What? That? Pffft!
Spending day after day reading and writing about people who are apparently in their jobs in order to communicate has inevitably lead me to distraction. Here are some of the reasons I think this is occurring.
I am listing them in no particular order other than when they strike me.
- JULY 15th
Vertical Mentoring Group: Seriously, this mean ‘Form’ or ‘Tutor’ group. - Going forward: this translates to “in the future” or, more specifically, “at some totally intangible point”. It is a replacement for the word ‘progress’, which is too weighed down with value qualifications.
- I/we will effect an outcome: No you won’t mate, you will “Do” or rather you won’t. You will excrete more words.
- That’s just not in our DNA: as per one Dennis Durkin, COO and CFO of Microsoft’s Interactive Entertainment Business. What he means here by using a simultaneously scientific, natural and permanent sounding piece of language is: “It’s not what we want you to think our company does”. It’s a replacement for the now derided “Mission Statement.
- We architect our products: Again, Mr Durkin. No you don’t, you simply ‘make’.
- Value Proposition: easily translated to ‘our product that we are selling you, for money that you give to us.”
- Our People Resource: Again, Mr Durkin. He means “Staff” or “Human beings who work for us and have lives and families and don’t think of themselves as spreadsheet line items.”
- Challenge: That means ‘Problem’. Not all problems have solutions and can therefore be simplified into ‘challenges’.
- Ecosystem that we leverage: I must admit the sheer audacity of adopting a term like ‘ecosystem’ by any corporation that is divorced from ecosystems is bravura stuff. What is meant here is “our suppliers and clients”. But that phrase, once again, assumes a financial and legal transaction. Those things are unpleasant.
- Experience: This means “Product that we sell to you for money that you earned.
More coming as soon as I become angered by them.
Of course, as my esteemed editor has pointed out: Get the readers to submit their personal ‘Proper Corporate’ terms for translation.
Okay, send me an email at: royston@gashead.net with the subject line: ‘Please Translate this Utter Bollocks’ and I’ll see what I can do.
The Sun
The Guardian has broken a story regarding Gordon Brown’s statement regarding hacking and blagging by The Sun and The Sunday Times.
It details depraved reporting and methods. The image here shows what resulted. The Sun editor at the time: Rebekah Wade.
Among the accusations:
• Abbey National bank found evidence suggesting that a “blagger” acting for the Sunday Times on six occasions posed as Brown and gained details from his account;
• Brown’s London lawyers, Allen & Overy, were tricked into handing over details from his file by a conman working for the Sunday Times;
• Details from his infant son’s medical records were obtained by the Sun, who published a story about the child’s serious illness.
Source: The Guardian
UPDATE: Let’s hope that Gordon Brown hasn’t handed NewsCorp a tiny sight of defence.
The Sun issued the following statement today July 12th 2011:
- Following allegations made yesterday by Gordon Brown against The Sun, we have been conducting an inquiry. This is in line with normal practice and procedure.
We are able to assure the Brown family that we did not access the medical records of their son, nor did we commission anyone to do so.
The story The Sun ran about their son originated from a member of the public whose family has also experienced cystic fibrosis. He came to The Sun with this information voluntarily because he wanted to highlight the cause of those afflicted by the disease. The individual has provided a written affidavit this afternoon to a lawyer confirming this.
On receipt of the information, The Sun approached Mr Brown and discussed with his colleagues how best to present it. Those colleagues provided quotes which were used in the published piece which indicated his consent to it.
We believe that the article was written sensitively and appropriately. We are not aware of Mr Brown, nor any of his colleagues to whom we spoke, making any complaint about it at the time.
The publication of the story and the further responsible, sympathetic and informative coverage The Sun continued to give to the disease resulted in renewed interest for those affected by it. Donations to the Cystic Fibrosis Trust nearly doubled over the next year.
We continue to inquire in to other allegations made by Mr Brown, and implore him to provide details to us so we can establish the facts.
Source: Channel 4
Rebekah Brooks Cashing Up
Remember when Andy Coulson and Rebekah Brooks appeared before a government select committee in 2003? Remember she admitted to buning cash to the police? Remember no one really doing much about it?
You don’t? Here it is again.
A Little Bit of News International Fun
Imagine if The Independent had got the picture wrong in its story this morning entitled: ‘The bare-faced truth about big fat liars‘?
That would have caused all kinds of embarrassment at the subs desk and the picture editor would probably have had to consider its position. I imagine that some advertisers might also be reflecting on their onward positions regarding placing revenues with the paper.
I’d imagine that NewsCorp or Mr Murdoch’s own lawyers would have gone in hard stating that Mr Murdoch certainly does not have a wide face and, therefore, cannot be used to illustrate this story.
So, it’s a damned good idea all round that The Independent didn’t get its picture wrong in this story and used a picture of Richard Nixon instead.
Source: The Independent.
The Deleted Comment
I made a post last week about things that are still there even though you can’t see them – you can read that here.
I also started using Todd Lahman’s Spam Free WordPress plugin. At some point the two came together than left a strange ghost comment on the story.
As you can see from the image in this story, somewhere a non-sent comment was cached and displayed under Google Chrome. It was regarding my use of a Nazi propaganda poster in the piece about not seeing things that are there.
The comment doesn’t appear in the database underlying this site. It has no attribution and no other details, just the strange appearance on the page.
It’s an interesting comment. Or rather two comments. It could have come from one or two commenters. So, if you meant to leave the comments but somehow couldn’t due to a technical issue please get in touch via Gashead@gashead.net.
I think you’ve got the wrong end of the stick on the comments by the way!
Chinese Officials in PhotoShop Disaster
So, The Guardian ran this story about some Chinese local officials:
“For government officials in Huili, a distinctly modest county in a rural corner of south-west China, attracting national media coverage would normally seem a dream come true. Unfortunately, their moment in the spotlight was not so welcome: mass ridicule over what may well be one of the worst-doctored photographs in internet history.”
The picture calls out for some fun.
The Moon in Autumn
It’s not really like Mars in the Autumn I’d imagine.
Freaks had some soul.
Go away Matthew. Or rather, go away Matthew’s sub-editor because I’d imagine that Mr Norman doesn’t write his own strap lines. That said, Matthew does conclude his pointless analysis (he’s paid for it remember) with:
"For that vast majority of us who prefer Wagner’s Spice Girls cover, for all its monstrosity, to an earlier namesake’s Ring Cycle, there is nothing for it but to sit back, put up with the interminable tears and advert breaks, and enjoy the ride. We are all Cowell’s Children now."
No, no we are not Matthew. Not by a long chalk. I can quite happily spend however long the X-Factor is on for doing many other things (none of which include listening to Wagner’s Ring Cycle). So far this has not excluded me from my colleagues or friends; I’m not ostracised.
We don't know what the F is going on.
Just this… from SimplyElectronics regarding the camera I didn’t get. Read it over and see if you think it says:
“We’ve not prioritized it at all because we’re going to do exactly what we said we were going to do previously… and hang on to your cash for a few days more… but we’ll also treat you like an illiterate dullard and hope all you read is the word “prioritized”…
"Dear Tim,
Thank you for contacting us again.
We understand the urgency of your refund and it is now prioritized, please kindly allow the time frame previously stated for us to complete the process.
Many thanks for your continued patience with us and sincere apologies for the inconvenience caused.
Should you have further queries, feel free to contact us again.
Best Regards,
Name Redacted
Customer Service Executive"
I think it’s calling me a thicky in quite a smug way
